Dusty's Drabbles
by Teobi
Summary: A collection of 100 word one-shots about my favourite klutzy cowboy and his travelling companions and the scrapes he gets them into.
1. Smoke Signals

Dusty had done it again. Once more in Indian territory, they sent up smoke signals saying they were friendly, harmless, just passing through.

Unfortunately, Dusty stood too close to the fire and set his pants alight. While he ran around in circles flapping at his posterior, puffs of smoke rose from his backside and up into the air.

Luckily for Dusty, the signal he inadvertently sent up did in fact read "Help! My pants are on fire!" and the Indians who eventually responded came not because they wanted trouble but because it was the funniest thing they'd ever seen.


	2. Freckles

Dusty has never owned a horse before. He once had a dog, but a horse is different. _This_ horse is even different to other horses.

Freckles is the smartest horse Dusty has ever known. Even at first, while still wild, Freckles knew exactly what he was doing. He tied Dusty to a tree until Mr. Callahan came running, and from that day on Mr. Callahan became convinced that Freckles was better at keeping Dusty out of trouble than anyone else.

Freckles looks out for Dusty and asks nothing in return except food and water. For that, Dusty owes him everything.


	3. Guidance

The mountains never seem to get nearer, nor the strange rock formations- towering chimneys, huge cliff faces looming like mirages tantalisingly out of reach.

The wagon wheels keep rolling, bouncing over stones and into potholes. Occasionally a horse stumbles and regains its feet.

Mr. Callahan rides back and forth, making sure his people are okay. It may only be a small train but it's his responsibility to get them safely to the West. Mr. Callahan was once a cavalryman standing tall in the saddle. In his heart he still is, and they trust his inner strength to get them through


	4. Routine

Washing clothes in a river is not exactly what Betsy had foreseen for herself, but after months of slapping wet shirts against rocks and pegging dripping sheets onto lines strung between trees she finds it comforting to be doing the same things day after day.

Some semblance of routine is good when you're hopelessly lost. If not for the sun setting in the West at the end of each day, they would be going around in circles forever.

Betsy closes her eyes and inhales the fresh clean smell of Dusty's shirt. _Life's not so bad_, she thinks, smiling to herself.


	5. Boston Tea Party

"Do pass the sugar, dear, thank you."

Mrs. Brookhaven is very particular about tea time, even more so now they're heading into bandit territory, where rough bearded men and half naked Indians are apt to appear at any moment. Using her dainty sugar tongs, she places a small sugar lump into her china cup and stirs twice, no more, replacing the spoon gently into the saucer.

Mr. Callahan and Dusty watch the daily ritual.

"What's a nice lady like her doing on a trip like this?" Mr. Callahan ponders.

"I bet she's missing home," says Dusty, quietly.


	6. Fishing

"I caught one! I caught one!" Dusty announces it like he caught the fish with his bare hands as it leapt through rapids instead of it impaling itself on a baited hook.

Andy smiles at Dusty's enthusiasm. The man gets out of control with excitement sometimes. He trips over his own feet and ties himself up in his own lasso. Andy is the exact opposite. Everything he does is planned in advance- or at least it was until the day he met Dusty he realises, as the fish sails through the air and hits him squarely in the face.


	7. Admiration

Dusty had never met a showgirl before he met Lulu. She made him wide eyed with curiosity, with her brashness and her walk and the pink feather sticking out of her hair and her shoulders on display like that.

He tried not to stare, but when she wasn't looking he sneaked a glimpse. He just wanted to make sure she was actually real and not a figment of his imagination. He likes her bravery- it's more than he can say for himself.

If ever a man wanted to be more like a woman, Dusty sometimes wishes he had Lulu's cojones.


	8. Discipline

So how did it feel being a sheriff, Dusty? asks Betsy. The girls are teasing him. He can't wear the badge- Mr. Callahan won't let him- so he keeps it safe in a box.

Yeah, when you weren't _arresting_ us. Lulu laughs.

For picking up dirt. Betsy laughs too. They hover round him while he makes the morning coffee.

It felt good for a while, Dusty says, genially. It was nice putting you two behind bars where I could keep an eye on you.

Makin' honest women of us? grins Lulu.

I gave it my best shot, Dusty replies, happily.


	9. Bank On It

Dusty thinks Mr. Brookhaven wants to own all the banks. He asks what's wrong with just one.

My boy, one is nothing! Unless of course, it's a very large one.

Dusty isn't convinced. People's money should belong to them. Like my lucky dollar bill belongs to me. He extracts a worn and crumpled bill from his back pocket.

Dusty, you give me that, and you shall have three more by the end of the week!

But I don't want three more, Dusty says. I just want this one.

And _that_ is why you will never be rich, the banker sighs.


	10. Trailblazer

Dusty mostly sits atop the stagecoach, rocking from side to side trying to stay awake. Other times he sits astride Freckles and scouts the route ahead, and then he imagines he's a Pony Express Rider or someone just as important.

Without me, there's no hope!

He nudges Freckles into a gallop and for a few brief moments he's not Dusty the goof-up, the klutz, the fool. He's Dusty the lone rider, trailblazing, getting messages through, whatever the circumstances.

They blame him for getting them lost, but maybe, one day, he'll be the one who gets them found again.

He hopes.


	11. Water

Not one living being could survive without water, says Mr. Callahan. Without food, maybe a few weeks. Without water, it's mere days. Then you're nothing but a dried up old husk.

Dusty sulks and drags his heels. Why can't someone else go get it, Mr. Callahan? It's _heavy._

Mr. Callahan looks at Dusty hard. Water may be heavy but dead friends are heavier, he says, seriously.

Oh, well- when you put it like _that._ says Dusty, picking up the buckets.

Mr. Callahan doesn't like scaring Dusty, but sometimes it's the only thing that works.

Trail life ain't easy, little pal.


	12. Impulse

Andy can't stop Dusty being impulsive. Besides, once you tell Dusty not to do something he wants to do it even more. Dusty picks up bottles and sniffs the contents before he even knows what they are. Andy hovers, his hand half in the air, ready to snatch away anything potentially lethal.

Dusty screws his face up. Stuff smells worse than a skunk.

Told you not to sniff it.

Yeah, but I just wanted to see what it smelled like.

Don't say I didn't warn you.

Dusty takes another sniff. He grins and collapses.

The chloroform gets him every time.


	13. Exhaustion

After a heavy rain the wagon wheels get stuck in mud. It can take a whole day to get going again- the menfolk end up dirty and tired, their spirits all but crushed. The horses become agitated, muscles twitching under their glistening hides.

We're lucky the way's already been cut for us, says Cal. The first people to come out here had it ten times worse.

Dusty grimaces and curls up under a blanket. Easy for you to say. You're ten times stronger than me.

Mr. Callahan looks over, but Dusty is already snoring.

Sleep tight, little pal, he smiles.


	14. Games

Andy spends his spare time trying to think of games to make to keep his fellow travellers amused. Dusty likes the whimmydiddle best. It's a small, notched stick with a little propeller attached to one end. When another stick is rubbed across its notches the little propeller turns. When it's rubbed differently, the propeller turns the opposite way.

The whimmydiddle is a lie detector, Andy says.

Yeah? Dusty is immediately intrigued. Of course, it's really he who controls the answers, but Andy doesn't tell him that.

Is Andy the smartest guy in the world? Dusty asks.

The whimmydiddle says _yes._


	15. Warmth And Affection

Nothing beats the warmth of a fire when night draws in. They huddle together, telling stories, laughing at jokes and singing songs that make them think of home. They all know the words to My Darling Clementine, but they don't all sing them at the same time, resulting in much hilarity and nudging of ribs.

Betsy sits next to Dusty. Every time he laughs his shoulder bumps against hers and she leans into it, an act of genuine affection, but with the hope that he'll keep doing it, remaining unaware that it's all she thinks about when night draws in.


	16. Music

A wagon train in motion makes its own music. Pots and pans clank, wheels and suspensions squeak, harnesses creak, horses snort, hooves beat. Dusty finds himself tapping his foot as the stagecoach sways along. An insect whirs next to his ear like a miniature buzzsaw and Mr. Callahan rides alongside on Blarney, punctuating the air with an occasional _yaaah!_

Dusty relaxes, lets the rhythm of the trail flow through him. He feels connected. After all, this same song must be ringing out all over.

Clink clank clink clank squeak creak squeak creak thumpa thumpa thumpa thumpa whinny snort buzz _yaah!_


	17. Hooves

Dusty wedges the tip of the hoofpick under Freckles' iron shoe.

Boy, Freckles. You sure know how to get stones stuck in your feet.

Hooves, Dusty, says Mr. Callahan.

Huh? Dusty looks up.

Horses 'feet' are called _hooves._

Oh. So, what are their hands called?

They don't have hands, Dusty. They just have feet.

I thought you said they had hooves.

They do.

But you just said feet.

I meant hooves.

Oh. But you still didn't tell me how many hands they have.

They don't have hands, Dusty.

They're measured in hands though, right?

Dusty?

Yes, Mr. Callahan?

Shut up.


	18. Vittles

Despite the hardships of the trail, they eat well. Betsy makes doughnuts that come straight off the griddle all crispy on the outside and when you bite into them they melt in your mouth. Lulu makes corn fritters, in fact, they brought so much dried corn with them that almost every dish they eat contains corn in some form or another. I feel like I'm made of corn, says Dusty. I've got news for you, little pal, you _are _made of corn, says Mr. Callahan.

It's nice when food comes ready made, but making it from scratch brings everyone together.


	19. Two Tribes

When negotiating with Indians, Mr. Callahan wishes Dusty would disappear up a tree. But Dusty considers himself Cal's right hand man, even though more often than not he's the foot in Cal's mouth. Luckily, the Indians they've met so far have been tolerant. They treat Dusty like a child, with the patience required for answering one dumb question after another.

Dusty likes to mention the time he was mistaken for a Chief's son. They called me Half Moon, he says.

I think they meant Half Brain, Cal smiles, and the Indians laugh, tapping their heads in return.

We understand you.


	20. Don't Try This At Home

I once knew a feller who could make milk come out of his eyes, says Dusty.

That's bull and you know it, says Lulu.

It's true. Same place tears come out of. He said it's all connected up inside your head and you can make anything come out of your eyes.

Dusty takes a mouthful of milk, prepares himself.

Dusty, don't. Lulu pulls a face, turns away. I can't look.

Dusty tries to make milk come out of his eyes but it comes out of his nose instead.

You're disgusting, Lulu declares.

He made it look so easy, Dusty coughs.


End file.
